Thursday, November 17, 2005

Well I Waited I Was Wasting Away...

its late, 12 possibly. only second class beginning tomorrow: she's smiling. about that. maybe only.
Death cab's "Brothers on A Hotel Bed" and myspace are keeping her busy. She knows she should finish the english and get some sleep, but...
sigh.
what's sleep anyways? what's lieing in bed for hours trying? because afterall, she dosen't go to sleep to dream. she can do that fine on her own.

Life, is.... hard. It's going to keep on being hard, because that's just the way it is. There are forever going to be people in my life who continue to totally piss me off, and situations that leave me hurting, and where my physical self isen't doing too great, whether it be in a doctor or a therapists office. I just... wish. That. I could just let it go. you know? Stop worrying. Stop worrying about everything that's going on. Because it's tearing me: apart. I wish I could just escape to somewhere where people need me, off to Africa to give flu shots and feed starving children with the money from all the stupid things that I own, that will mean nothing forever and ever. and ever. And then I wish that people in my school would be alot less stupid, and just things.. at home and, and it could just be as easy as it once was. wait, when was that? hm.
Deep breath.

She knows that it won't change with her complaining about it. Deep breath. Just let it go...

How is it we let go of so many days, of so many moments, minutes...? I hate that feeling of the day being slipped away. Why didn't I grab it? Live it? Why did I just let it drown? You see, i'll never get it back. I let those go. Why can't I let this go?

sleep? mhm....
yes, sleep.
good night.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Darling,
So I hope your weekend has been awesome so far cuz mine wasnt the greatest.. volleyball was real fun and all but the team didnt do so well so it was kinda disappointing, crazyness though! i'm not even super psycho mad like i normally should be after stupid things like this, not sure why. but anywayz, lets hang out this week, k? alrite, hava good sleep.