To The Extent That It's Absurd.

So, this is going to be an entry consisting of a mix of thoughts from both days that I've been gone. I started one last night, but I got distracted by wonderful coversations with beautiful people whom I am privledged to know, :) I apologize for the layout of this entry, it's not letting me move the previous stuff up, so it's kinda annoying but I think it is still readable, yes? :: Thursday, November 10/ 05

long drives make everything else seem so clear. We, I, take advantage of what we have around us... there is so much beauty in a simple tree, a simple sky, in a stranger we see walking down the street. Long drives make me appreciate my surronding. We are oh so blind. It's funny when we talk about a scenic point, for example, Niagera Falls and saying it is truely amazing. I mean, oh yes that it is, but have we stopped to see what we have in our own hometown/ home area? Hm. that is just something that i have realized. I would like a walk right now. A walk in the rain. With the lights shining pretty and the noise in the way, but not really, wish I had a companion... So this is has been a good night for conversation. It's one of those nights where everybody seems to be kind of maybe going through the same thing, and so it is alot easier to relate, you know? It's been good, anyway, Well. I have so much more to say but I am a bit busy, so I decided not to post this entry up, because it is lacking in... well. Words. And defnitely substance. Friday, November 11/ 05 It is the end of the day (nearly) when we become aware of how worn out we really are. So my so called sickness, is heading the direction of being from stress. And, its easy to deny that when I feel like I spend so much time doing aboustely nothing (you know... long hours on msn, etc) But then I look back on the events that have happened the past few weeks and it makes somewhat more sense. The question "What is new?" is asked so often in conversations, that we find ourself saying "Nothing" even if we really do have something going on: We are afraid of what they will think, or if the subject is not important enough to be brought up: But yet we have to realize how much people really do care, and really are willing to hear you out: This is something that is being made clear. I have so many real, real awesome friends and I take advantage of that fact. So thank you. All of you. You do not know how much of me you make up, ha. I am a bit overwhelmed. By people and crowds and more people. And tired. And my feet hurt. I have changed. I used to love big malls full of lots of people and big stores full of clothes that were to like and buy: and now i am the opposite. I am sick of tons of people, and walking and the oppertunity to spend money. My favorite thing about today was Starbucks, some cool new shoes and people watching. I love to people watch. Dream up their situations, and dream up their personality and wonder am I missing out? Not knowing them. Them being strangers? Hm. I guess I will never know.... ? I want life in every word to the extent that it is absurd:: I've been thinking alot about this lately. What I make life out to be, and how I should. I take for granted what I have, what I can have, what I can see, what I should see; etc. etc. So: this is my forever goal. Each and every aspect of my day means something... yes, whether good or bad. But it's beautiful. Because it's life, it's living. and that's all I Really have to do right now. :). I am going to include some lyrics of a song by a wonderful band named Copeland. I've been listening to them all night here. These lyrics make more sense, then well... sense? Smiles to all, I love you each. Quiet now, your voice seems miles away. But somehow, I hear your song resound: A little bit softer each day. And from my tired heart, a little bit farther away I'll sing along, the whole day through. Just do your best to hear me, that's all you can do. You have my attention, like you've had all the while. Since the first day you made my heart smile, with loving eyes and tired sighs that flow. You have my attention, like a shout through a empty sanctuary. Speak but a whisper, i'll hear a sermon. I'll sing along, the whole day through. Just do your best to hear me, that's all you can do. I'll sing along, the whole night through. While you sleep safely, i'm thinking about you. You Have My Attention.