I once had this idea that when the day that independance would arrive on my doorstep, I would be free. I would be free of the chains that had held me back for so long, that had seemed to only pull me closer to pain, and with that pain came tolerance.
I never was good at screaming for help.
As the day grew closer and closer to arriving, I began to want it more and more. This want became the fall. The fall that would give me nothing for all the things I sacrificed. The fall that seemed determined by bad decisions that I had made that I understood were right. The fall that seemed to be the end of... me? Or the end of... the person that was me?
And as the day came, I wanted it no more. I just wanted back all those things I had sacrificed, given up, for the sake of this.
Now i'm here and im not sure I want to pick it up and leave. You know I hardly favored change.
But sometimes it shone its light... and those times I tried my hardest to stay back when all I wanted was to be gone.
But it seems as if, something is keeping me back, pulling on my arms, and pulling on my veins, and pulling on my emotions.
I once thought it was you, but I was wrong. I want you to stay behind that door and don't call my name or chase after me when I leave. Don't you understand that we never existed? Your going to ask me now if understood ... I always did. But I play the part well.
So now you know.