My Merry Christmas.

So... Christmas Eve.
Tomorrow is the day of all days.... the day that we have all been so anxiously awaiting, and with joyful hearts and a house full of family and food, supposed to be celebrating. His birth.
Christmas has become more and more less like Christmas, as time goes by and each year passes. To me, Christmas has become a hallmark holiday in which I would be much happier skipping, a holiday that has been stolen by a whole bunch of "materialistic jerks" who think 24 hour shopping hours and doing anything in their will to make more money during the holidays. Through my anger towards this, I will not ever forget the gifts I recieve every day, and espescially learn to appreciate during the holidays... a warm house, food in my stomach, a Grandma's house to go to over the holidays, wonderful friends.... etc. And I don't want to make this entry sound like I am not appreciating this. I just don't feel it this year. I just don't think I've ever felt it.
Working in a grocery store, in which hours change for one day of the year, closing at 4 instead of 9 have kind of made my eyes even more open to how much I hate it. People rely on these hours, apparently. Its like "OH NO! The store is closing for two days, what will we do?!" What will you do? Im sure you have just enough food in your houses, and not renting movies for two days will do you some good. The things I have enjoyed most over the holidays include wonderful friends to hang out, and a great time at my Grandparents todays, and some wonderful gifts in which I have been having fun giving... and some I have had recieved. And... It's Christ's birthday. Tomorrow is a day for me to relax.... Sometimes I just feel like the meaning has been buried underneath a materalistic world, and the stress of the Christmas season makes my grudgery towards Christmas even more worse.
A friend gave me this, except where I will put spaces, she put my name. Try it with yours. It's my Christmas present to you.... a beautiful one at that:

Father, __ is my personal glory.... I glow when I think of __. That's because I love __ as if __ were the only one in all the world to love. I believe in __ potential. I see so much in __ life. Im excited about all you have in store for __.
Keep __close to you father. Help ___ realize that you and I dream BIG dreams for __. I ask you to take extra good care of __. Those days when __ feels like the world is against __, and no one understands, let __ sit in your lap-- just like a child. Wrap your strong arms around __ and wipe __ tears away.
Sometimes, Father, __ dosen't show __ tears. Sometimes __ does all __ crying on the inside. Help __ feel comfortable enough around you to ACT on what __ FEELING.
__ so hard on _self... times when __ __ own worst enemy- beating __self up over not meeting someone's expectations. Teach __ that YOUR expectations are what's really important in life.
__ so much fun. Lord, I love laughing with ___. SOmetimes we just talk about daily stuff- like who's spreading rumors about __, __ latest grade in math class, trying to get so-and-so to notice __. And you know what? I love it! Im glad __ knows theres absoutely NOTHING too big or too small to pray about. Im thrilled __ knows that we care about everything.
Im concerned about unity, Father. I want __ to live in harmony and peace with those around __. Help __ to get over this feeling of having to be right all the time. Help me teach __ humility and geniune concern for others. I crave unity between my children... I want them to have the same kind of oneness that you and I have. Keep __ safe. Protect __. We'll walk by __ side together, Father. We'll take each step that __ takes, and we'll feel everything __ feels. the good AND the bad. The laughter, the pain, the loneliness, the confusion, the joy. I want to experience all of that with __.
Ive told __ a lot- even wrote it all down with __... a personal collection of letters. I hope __ listens. Im going to keep talking to __- leading __ and guiding __- through that Spirit that i'll pour inside of __, and through my letters. Im concerned that __ hears and understands my voice. If __ just read my letters, everything will make sense. Help __ do that, Father. ANd assist __ in being consisent to getting to know us.
the world hates ___. They hate her because __ dosen't really fit in. ANd im glad __ not fitting in, because __ no more a part of this world then I am. But __ wants to fit in- forgetting that __ real home is with us... and that it's far beyond __ wildest imagination. I wish we could give __ a little taste of heaven, Father. But, I know.
That's where faith comes in. Help me to increase __ faith. I want nothing more for __ then to bcome all we dream of her to be.
I'll be joining you soon. And together, we'll work on getting __ house ready. In my place, though, i'll leave my very own personality- my Spirit- full of everything that I am, for __ fufillment and success.
I love __ so much, im giving my very own life for __ growth in holiness and truth and understanding. My life for __. It's worth it, Father. We have a genuine treasure when we have __.

Isen't that beautiful?
I hope you guys all feel more of Christmas then I do. To say the least, I have much more then I should and deserve to have. But God is good that way, hey?
Merry Christmas!
Love: to each and all of you. You change my life in oh so very many different ways each and every day.