I am happy todays because I chose to be.
So what if disappearing seems to be the most desirable thing right now... Let's, just for once, forget all the traits and tragedies of life. It's just too much to feel sometimes. Sometimes, forgetting is all we have. And can do. So, let's disappear in a ray of sunshine to some unforgettable unknown world and dance in sense that we don't have to think about... anything. Let's forget about time, and the fact that we don't have much of it... until infinity ends (ha)
I am a tragedy in the sense that i am too sullen. This perfect mold of whom I have created for myself through my image is fake... all fake. Don't take note of that. I am a mess. I have no remedies for myself or for life and i am too set on happiness. Im either looking all the wrong places, or I am looking too hard. that's it. I exagerate too much on my trust issues, but let my guard down to someone in whom I thought I could bring it down. I think the awnser to all my problems here is in leaving. The awnsers to these problems are reconciliation... before leaving. The awnser to my happiness is faith in God that I shall be content with what I have... and with life. I was given a chance to be something different, and im basking in a deep hole of darkness because I don't have things right. What is... right? Logic is a bunch of bull. Life isen't logic. It's... living. I'm looking for happiness in all the wrong places. I shouldn't worry so much. I should focus on the fact that this is short, and there is so much else that needs to be done for others, and not for myself. The one thing I will worry about is: i've been the fool. and i'm deep in this. and i will do anything to make it right again. i will. just promise me you'll give it another chance. Maybe it was fading and is fading away.... but i'll grab hold to it before it's gone if you help me. please?
so i have closed my eyes now. and i am disappearing....
but no worries. i will be back tomorrow.
and tomorrow I will be doing my best to catch this slow fade of love. and life. because i am letting it slip away....
2 comments:
so darling,
me and alli were talking tonite, and we were wondering if wednesday would work for you for us to bake cookies together, after school and then we thought we could have supper together and then go to choir afterwards. yes? it'd be fun. so let me know if that works for ya. not sure who's house yet but we'll figure that one out. anywayz, hava wonderful night. love you
Yay for Brooke! I don't know if I am doing this right but I am gonna try to add a comment just because I want to...and u like comments... Your a good writer though. Anyways, byebye. See you at school.
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