What is it, life? What is that it seems to throw so much trouble in our lives when it's going tough? Why it is when we feel we cannot take anymore, it throws more tough stuff. I just... I am sick of feeling like I wish that I could escape. I am sick of feeling that I am on my own. I feel. Just. Sick. I mean, that probably contribuates to the way I am handling things, but. I just want to crawl into bed and cry, with some Sigur Ros and Damien Rice... but no, work I go, school I go, worship and choir practice, I go, among other things. If you could only push those things aside for a while so you can make things right again. How do we get to "right"? I mean, I know it has something to do with attitude but this has been tough, and I don't really feel like being positive about it. I am being very vague, and that's how I am. Maybe i'll never tell anybody what is really, really bugging me. But i will tell you this:
What is it with people in this freaking town? I will rant about this, cause I do not feel guilt about it. Why don't feelings matter? So. I break up with this guy. Cause I feel unhappy, crowded, cause I feel it is not working out and we were never meant to be, better off friends. I tell this guy, who normally is the happiest-go-lucky kind of guy. And it ruins him. He turns into this totally different guy. And I am the one blamed, the one that suffers for it, I am the one shafted. I mean, not totally shafted, but it's mostly the guys. And sure it's sweet, they all stick up for their friend,and it's cool, but I majorly thought we were friends! i just don't... get it, how my feelings don't seem to matter. Never mind. I will live.
What bascially made the day good today was a tall Pumpkin Spice Latte and Lily on my lap. Lily is the most gorgeous kid you'll ever meet, so much that it hurts. I am currently sitting at a 86 in math, 87 in history, and a 73 in ART- that just angers me hardcore. It's art. But. Whatever, report cards are tomorrow, so I hope everything is good and fine.
If anyone would like to talk tonight, or e-mail or anything. I work 5-9 tonight, so if you want to call around 9:30ish, that would be sweet, but if not, that is cool too. K?
Goodbye.
3 comments:
I am glad that you like the sigur ros. I am not glad that your days have been sucking. call me or something. lets hang out. when do you leave?
Hey Hun,
SO remember i said we'd do coffee this week? Well we should soon. I'm here whenever you want to talk. Love ya tons babe.
Hellooo Babycakes,,,
so screw all them dumb waldheim people that are jerks! honestly, lets do something without them and rant all we want and have the best time of our lives, k? maybe after you come back from edmonton, we'll go into stoon, hit up value village, get some coffee, walk around downtown with a camera and have a good ol' time, k? but ya,, i really feel for ya, i know how it is to be the one shafted in this town for dumping the guy (gotta love those dayz with tom, or not) anywayz, i really love you and i'll give you a ride home anytime you want, lol like today and yesterday! love driving that car,, so this comment is gettin real long but thats alrite cuz your brooke and your the best and you deserve a super long comment. so hava great night and i hope things get better with all these dumb heimers... ok, love you....
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