It is Okay.

Sleep. I think the thing I dislike most is trying to get into that, and never getting there. I. Well, let's just say I didn't get much sleep last night, two hours at the most? Why? I do not know. All I know was that I was still up at 5:15. What is going on with me? Well. Things are going on, but you think that sleeping would come good and fine. To pass the time I faintly remember a poem or two that I wrote, looking at stars, watched Breakfast at Tiffanys on the laptop and endless amounts of music, and reading a little, as well. I don't know how I will ever catch up, but I think i am feeling okay this afternoon. I mean, I tried to sleep but there are people here replacing the shingles on the roof and this is the afternoon my Mom's piano practicing afternoon. I think I am okay. Scars defnitely heal, there is the point where you just have to forget about it and look it at as it's life, and things will get better, even if that is not in the near time. God is good, and as much as all of this hurts, he's still with me, and I always have him by my side. As well, thank you guys for the comments, it means alot to me (!)
So for my sickness it seems to be getting worse. I have lost my appetite so much where it as I eat a meal a day, and a little bit of coffee and am sick to my stomach full at the end of it. The sleeping thing, well last night was bad, that has never happened. And the hair situation? As bad, I think. And the headaches are more frequent, and the dizziness as well. So, im going to the doctor on monday, and I am sure looking forward to that, get this checked out and over with.
Tonight, I work once again. But for that, I am okay with. Work is life, and I am thankful that I have a job adleast, espesically a job where my friends are my coworkers and my bosses are like real cool versions of my parents. I am off to Edmonton tomrorow, through sunday. Which i am not looking forward to, as much as I should be. Sure, it'll be fun and good but that sounds like a long time. Anyways, feel free to leave beautiful messages on my cellphone (all expenses paid, by myself, :) ) and I am going to find out where I can get some internet access, I am defnitely bringing the laptop along. I'll get some reading and writing done, and Starbucks all the time, and i'll make my dad ride the roller coastor 4 times in a row with me, but only in the front row, because you defnitely don't get the full experience then.
Love. xx.

What has become of this? Its near 2 a.m and I sleeping is impossible. I've got you on the top of my head, and I don't think you will ever fall from there. Getting away is on my mind. Can you come now? Can we lose ourselves now? Can we just push the doubts and the worries aside, and you just take my hand. I just don't think I know where I am now, I think that has slipped away. Why can't it be right? Why can't this be okay? Nothings right. Nothing is right without you.