I Fear That Was My Biggest Mistake

My biggest mistake.
How can we be in surronded with so much people, so much noise and light and.... anxiety? It slips in, overtakes us with the trace of bad memories.
I don't know myself anymore. I was so content with the thought of finally finding it.... but it has slipped away again. How do I let it? Isen't that all I want....?
I'm. Clueless.
Im stuck contimplating whether I make everyone else happy and lose myself or find it and...
Tonight. i just don't feel right. Because I may have let my guard down, and trusted to much. I thought it was right, but I take that back. I don't know what I am anymore.
a poem. tonight.... for: life. I just don't know how tonight took place, or why. I just know that tomorrow I will open my blinds and pertend there is sunshine. okay?
I just need to disappear, even if it's just tonight.


I will remember you as the artist or two that tried to screw me over, because it's the bolder thing to do. I've made myself the fool, who is falling for you. So let me down softly this time, so I won't have to come back crying. I've just made myself look bad, your the one that should be mad. It'd be better to forget you, but I don't really want to.
and what am i, darling? a whisper in your ear, a piece of your cake? Here's to you and your love. I've got years to wait around for you...