I know its easy to doubt yourself, your confidence, and espescially your potential. But now I think its at a time where I know where I am, or adleast I think I do, and because of this, I reject. Myself and others. But then I also chose to believe that we are always ten steps behind ourselves. Or I am adleast.
Of the first months of this school year, I felt that I had gotten ahead. Gotten ahead of where I wanted to be, maybe. In a night, and another like it, I realized that the only thing that had moved ahead was the pages on my calender. I had not changed, grown, stretched or stepped ahead. I had fallen back to a familiar place, a place where choosing darkness was just... easier. I thought I had gotten past "easier" Don't you feel that the idea of picking another choice rather then the one that is "easier" just feels like it is growth?
But. Its funny because I never have picked the hard way, before.