Just One Of Those Nights.

what i am feeling tonight:
- Lonely (my family is all gone)
- Cold (shaking cold)
- Left out (.. thanks Bryce! friends since when? Just because you've been stalking me all week for that one reply and I still haven't told you dosen't mean I hate you! :) )

in need of:
- inspiration
- company
- proper food
- a hug
- probably sleep... and maybe a good cry

so. I finally gave in. I got myself a myspace -- lol. I told myself I never would, but the idea of those thing's are way to fun (add me! myspace.com/beautifulbreakdown_) that is, when i get everything figured out. but this is my blog... i hate the fact that i have 3 of em now. lol.
but Life is sure different lately. It always take this kind of turn at this time of year. I don't really know why. but it's depressing, in a way. I get flashbacks of grade 10's november, that one particular night and it makes me cringe. How could I ever be that far deep? How?
Metric is done. I don't really have money for it anyways, so it's good. I'm still hoping in the back of my mind that someone will want to accompany me and still go but. ha. I was trying to think of someone but I realli couldn't... Metric. hm...
ha. this sounds weird but I really, really want to cry. I hate it. I'm the person that hates to cry, as if i'm giving in. That's what it's like for me. So i've held all thesse feelings lately back and i'm just waiting for the breakdown. Just waiting...
I think that maybe this is what maybe God is showing me. This is nothingness, because he wants me to slow down. He wants me to slow down and maybe listen to him and what he wants for me... Maybe?
Sorry if this thing is depressing, I don't want to come across as that. Just... it's one of those nights. you know?
It's kinda cool to see the people that have just popped up on msn and started talking... A Thank-You to the people, my friends, that are so precious to me. You guy's are the sunshine in my life. I mean it.
I guess I am looking forward to tomorrow... a new day, new oppertunites, new people... and we get to go to Innercity (Chrissy, Joel, Justin, youth pastor- justin so that should be fun in itself) I've really missed those kids.
But guys. Honestly, if you are lonely... really, really feel free to call me up to talk, or go out for coffee, or take a walk.. anything. I am SO up for it. k? I might even be as selfish to say that I need it. :).
So. leave me a comment if ya want. I am going to... well.... do more nothing. or...
Love.

listening to tonight:
- Damien Rice
- accoustic Death Cab
- Trespassers William (esp. "Love You More" and "Different Stars")